Christmas Eve can never pass without me thinking of Bampa and how he despises to shop. He is about the only person I know that is actually allergic to the mall. Correct me if I am wrong Bampa, but parking, choosing gifts, standing in lines, and moron shoppers all make you come down with a rash (a rash of bad words, if you know what I am saying). Am I right? Well, for a while I was Bampa's little elf. I remember one year he drove Melanie and me downtown on Christmas Eve. He gave me a fist full of cash, pretty much no instructions and turned us loose in the mall while he circled Salt Lake (one of his favorite pass times). I think we found Glama some perfume and maybe some jewelry but when we saw the sexy Christmas lingerie, we laughed ourselves senseless. The plan was to run through the list of presents we bought for Glama with Bampa, excluding the skimpy panties cleverly concealed in my pocket, and then of course do all of the wrapping. I would then discreetly place the wrapped panties under the tree with a sexy note attached that said something like, "To: Mrs. Claus, From: Santa Claus" and then let the scene unfold before me Christmas morning. I am pretty sure I didn't let anyone else in on my little joke. Christmas morning I watched that package like a hawk. By the time Glama was about to open the gift I was one Nervous Nelly. Of course Glama made a big production of getting a gift. She made sure that all eyes were on her by saying things like, "Whatever could this be?" and, "What a fancy little box!". Bampa had a confident, yet blank look on his face (every once in awhile glancing to me). I was having a tough time maintaining my poker face. After much ceremony Glama tore into her little box, looked inside.... and BLUSHED! She quickly slammed the little box shut. Now we were ALL dying to see what was inside, especially Bampa (he he he)! She eventually HAD to succumb to our appeals, probably because Bampa had to give up the illusion that HE had actually bought the gift. Or maybe I had to give up my little innocent game of shrugging my shoulders and playing dumb. Probably because I was laughing so hard I was crying! Anyway, it goes down as one of my favorite Christmas memories of all time, and I believe it cured Bampa of his, "Mall Fever".
5 comments:
Missletoe: Yes, not only are all my Christmas presents purchased they are wrapped and under the tree, at least 48 hours early. The only one not wrapped is the Lexus. I am looking for a large red bow. Any ideas? As for the undies you speak of I acknowledge no memory of such an event. That's my story and I am sticking to it! Wink.
History belongs to those who write it down.
Oh so funny... Thanks for the laugh! Speaking of panties I better go change mine because I laughed so hard I peed.
Hey Miss, I remember that event well. Here is my question...if Bampa sends you some more cash could you go and pick out a new pair? That pair is getting old and freyed!
I'd be happy to!
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